Google Glass Banned

Google Glass, the smartphone fannypack for your face, has already been banned in some locations. Some are shocked as the device isn't yet on the market.  By all means restrict the use of something before it is on sale. Please don't bring silly string vomiting Elmo into my house, if it is ever invented. No radium condoms in this brothel!

But my concern is the reasoning. We aren't talking about a safety concern. Here are some reasons why someone may want to ban this technical accessory.

1. Fashion
2. Distraction
3. Interaction
4. Suspicion
5. Religion

Starting with the fashion. Yes, I think it looks ridiculous. I want one anyway, just a little bit. I mean, I've looked ridiculous for years, and this makes me just a little bit of a borg. More on that point later. But since we don't ban other fashion faux pas, let's not start with this now. I can wear socks and sandals into your establishment, right? Jeans to my knees? By the way, I have old fat jeans for sale to any overindulged young men out there. They are vintage, and sure to fall past your ass. Only $90 plus shipping.

Are they distracting? Would I want this in front of a group of school children I was teaching? NO. On a driver in any car ever. NO. This is a fair reason for safety concerns, learning concerns, etc. For now.

Interaction is a grey area. I do not want my date wearing these instead gazing on my dashing yet rugged exterior. Or however I look to someone unbiased. But I also don't want her on her phone every five seconds. As the phone isn't banned on a date by anything beyond common courtesy, this reason is tossed as well.

The people with camera faces are coming to get me. They will see when I screw up and post it to YouTube. What if my zipper is down? Or I kick a puppy? Bystander Apathy has turned into Bystander Instagram. Get used to it. If you are a police officer, don't beat your suspects. Someone has their camera on. Look around you. Cameras are everywhere. Right now I have hacked into your webcam (stop picking your nose) and your phone's camera (staring at the ceiling) and the thousand other devices that record you in a day. To be afraid of the camera taking your soul in the modern world leads necessarily to agoraphobia.

God doesn't like technology. Well, if that is your point of view, we should end this discussion now for so many reasons. Also get off the internet, you hypocrite.

The all-seeing eye of LaForge

Bionic eyes are becoming a reality. Seriously. Miniaturization of electronics means my Google GlassEye or iGlass may be in the future. Perhaps the technology will be so tiny as to fit into my normal prescription glasses seamlessly. You will never know if I am googling myself when I sit across from you, smiling blankly. We are integrating technology into our bodies with contact lenses, prosthetic hips and plastic tits. For better or worse, this is reality. Augmented of course. When you outlaw cybernetics, only outlaws will be cyborgs. (And your grandmother with that hip.)

We end up left with Google Glass being a distraction, and/or not appropriate in certain environments. Duh. Same goes for squirt guns. Reasonable limitations for public safety are, well, reasonable. The biggest fear must be paranoia and suspicion. Recording the inside of your quaint dive bar is not my priority with a smartphone or any other device. But if I wanted to do so, you can't stop me. I have seen way too many spy shows.