How to be a Man

No one ever, not even Chuck Norris, was born a man. He once described himself as a shy kid who never excelled at anything in school. Bruce Wayne was a stuffy rich kid whose parents died. Even Captain Kirk, well maybe there are exceptions. Something happens to people in these coming of age stories where they realize it is time to be an adult. And thanks to too many movies, adult males are waiting for something that will likely never happen. No life altering event will make you more manly.

To become something you must do that thing. We are what we do. The cliche is "fake it 'til you make it," but the truth is there as well. Aristotle told us that to have a virtue you must act as though you have that virtue, then it will be yours. So if you keep acting honestly you will become honest. Want to be a runner? Run. It is time to be more manly- act like it.

But what are those traits you should be developing? So many- let's break them down.

You should be able to defend yourself and others. Not just physically, but that is of course the case. No woman wants a man who cries if he gets sucker punched in a bar. I can punch through several inches of wood, in the case an Ent ever attacks me. You also need to be able to defend yourself verbally. This comes into play often in life. Wit is important, but so is being right.

Your actions should set an example for others. When you saw the first Chuck Norris reference you had a role model for manliness. I imagine you have others. They can absolutely be fictional. You aren't fictional. If a child was going to look up to you, why would they? Fairness. Honesty. Courage. Strength. Wisdom... Whatever combination of traits you think are the ones that should be represented, you should be representing. Be the best you.

Keep your stuff clean. Do you think Steve McQueen's car was littered with McDonald's wrappers? Did Bruce Lee's house have a roach problem? NO. Yes, this makes you more attractive to women as well. My college apartment always had one clean room- my bedroom. My roommates may not have worried about a woman coming over a second time, but I sure did.

What comes out of your mouth should be trusted. Keep your promises. Tell the truth. Don't gossip. Again, how ridiculous is the image of Theodore Roosevelt saying, "Did you see what he was wearing?" The idea of of the strong, silent type is better than the catty, dishonest type. If what you have to add isn't true and valuable, keep your mouth shut.

Don't be helpless. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps, make life happen for you. Drive your success. Fix that flat tire. Do some damn sit-ups. Go for a run. Asking for help is not weakness, refusal to help yourself absolutely is. It is weak and slovenly. No one owes you anything.

Be passionate. Men care about something other than themselves. That is passion. Women go weak for artists, musicians, poets, and others who show their passion. Trust me, it isn't because they are weepy and emotional- that is not passion. Your passion could be saving the environment or drawing nudes or medieval literature. It almost doesn't matter (it shouldn't be coloring.)

Use your brain. Dumb mistakes, a lack of humor, an inability to read- these are the traits of drunk mice. Everyone, wants people around them who are intelligent. It doesn't mean you have to go out there and learn loop quantum gravity. Just think. Think before you act. Think while you act.

Treat others with respect. Not fawning adoration. Just respect- at least until they prove unworthy. This goes for yourself as well. You are also worthy of respect- go out and earn it. Self confidence and a level of esteem comes from respecting yourself. Once upon a time I was not confident in my ability to speak in public. I was young, tall, intelligent, well read and spoken- yet did not respect those traits enough to have the confidence to stand up in front of a group of strangers. Fortunately, a woman I had a terrible crush on in high school corrected my thinking.

Many of my fiancee's friends have commented on how manly I am. They usually ask what has happened and why aren't men that way anymore. Culturally, I will place the blame in a future entry. The truth is, I behaved as a man until everyone (including me) saw me that way. It can become a habit, which is fine. It isn't a character trait- it is repeated action. Stop waiting for it to happen to you.

Revenge of the Sixth

In this internet obsessed society, we can't just have a little fun with something as simple as May the Fourth (be with you) anymore. While a lot of nerds were enjoying Star Wars day, a few people were explaining what was wrong with the movies and vision of George Lucas. Personally, I found their lack of faith disturbing. So I will do what many people do online, anonymously* respond to the well thought out writings and make fun of them for it.

To address a common complaint, (okay mentioned in both articles I read) Star Wars did not ruin Science Fiction. It isn't even in that genre. Seriously. It is a fantasy. A fairy tale. The knights carry swords. They rescue princesses. There are good and evil wizards. Krayt Dragons. Quests. Pirates. Ghosts. It just happens to have a setting in space. Not real space of course. Space where TIE fighters whiz by quite audibly, gravity is constant on every planet and asteroid, and the planets all consist of a single sub-ecosystem. Terminator, Quantum Leap, and Blade Runner are all set on Earth. Space does not equal science fiction.

Star Wars does not represent a better future and view of humanity. First, Star Wars is not set in the future. The moral implications of each are worthy of quite the discussion. (Another day, another blog.) Star Trek is absolutely forward thinking. It often tries to show how petty our racism, greed, violence and darker side can be by taking those very elements, turning them sideways and showing them back to us. And Star Wars is almost religious in its desire to show us the triumph good over evil. We are given examples and explanation of what makes good behavior. Captain Kirk and Obi Wan both influenced my sense of ethics.

Star Wars made people think Sci Fi is a bloated genre of shoot outs at high noon and endless wars. The argument basically goes, "Sci Fi should be about exploration, internally and externally." Firefly, Star Trek, and about a million other pieces of Sci Fi feature armed conflict. So what.

Star Wars is not all about toy sales. In fact, the success of the first movie was so surprising Kenner couldn't even keep up with demand. Now, you can make a Star Wars measuring cup and have it sell out. This is a simple problem of success. Movies are about making money. Why are we so upset when something we don't like is successful? You vote with your dollars. If a movie appeals to children there will be toys. If the movie did its job, they will sell many toys. We can argue that a true artistic vision is not about money, but until the socialist universe of Star Trek actually arrives, cash is king.

I think Pokeman makes a lot of money. Maybe it is Science Fiction. Maybe it is terrible. I don't know and I don't care. Let's be done trying to make people feel bad for liking the things that make them happy.